I have to admit that I completely forgot to acknowledge that I'd been writing this blog for a year. It became such a habit in my life to check in and write posts that having a blog just felt like something I'd always done. Well, here we are, a month past the one-year anniversary of my starting this little self-love project and I have a lot to say. I've learned so much in the past 12 months that sometimes it's overwhelming to think about. When I first sat at my laptop a little over a year ago, I just wanted to empty my head. Now, when I start to type, I'm doing it in the hopes that someone else might read and take something away. But I've taken things away for myself too, and those are just as important (to me) to discuss than anything else I put on here. It's actually New Year's Eve as I'm finishing this post off, and for the first time in a couple of years, I'm quietly optimistic for 2022.
1. Life won't always go exactly the way you expect it to.
If I could find the time to write out every instance in which life didn't go exactly as I expected it to, I'd be here for days. You can be as much of a planner as you want, you can spend hours imagining where you'll be a week, a month, even a year down the line, but life has a funny way of not going to plan. When things don't go exactly the way you intended, it can cause you to feel like nothing will ever work out (guilty) and like you maybe don't deserve things to work out (equally guilty). Here's the thing; if things don't work out the way you expect them to, you have to learn this isn't always a bad thing. It is often a chance for you to step back, reevaluate, and start fresh. You don't get the job you wanted? That job wasn't the right fit for you, and that's fine. You didn't do as well as you thought in an exam? You get a chance to know where your weaknesses may be, and that's fine. A friendship/relationship didn't work out? That relationship might've been good whilst it lasted, but it doesn't mean it was forever-- that is fine.
2. Your mind is one of the most powerful things in your life.
This might seem like a fairly obvious thing, but for me, the past year has proven that above anything else, my own mind is the key to everything. Your thoughts define your actions, your feelings, and your relationship. We can't always control exactly where our minds are at, but-- if and when we can-- it's so important to keep things positive. It's such a cliché, but a positive mindset can really really affect the way your day-to-day life goes on. Being filled with negative thoughts and being surrounded by people that encourage these isn't good for anyone, so, where you can, be just a little bit more positive.
3. Becoming bitter or better is a result of your own circumstances.
Whatever situation you find yourself in, your response is always up to you. You have a choice when someone around you finds success; you can be bitter about this or use it as motivation to better yourself. This isn't to say that feeling envious is a bad thing, as it's a natural feeling to want what someone else has. It's what you do with this feeling that defines becoming bitter or better. If you make the choice to become bitter, you'll rarely find happiness for your friend's & family members' success, and instead will (probably) live an inherently miserable life. If you can find it within yourself to be happy for them, and make yourself better as a result of this, chances are you'll end up a happier person because of it.
4. Make every moment count.
In the midst of a global pandemic, this is one that is incredibly obvious, but also incredibly important. This year, I've realised I used to spend a whole lot of time just waiting for other people. Waiting for them to make choices, waiting for the right time, sometimes just waiting for nothing. Really, there's no time in this life to wait. Sometimes life is about just doing. This year, I've spent more time enjoying my life as much as I can and I am genuinely happy with it. There's also this element, I think, of living without shame. You make those moments count and don't be ashamed of how you're doing it or what it is your doing. We don't have time for that.
5. Sometimes people are here to stay, sometimes they're just a lesson to learn.
Every relationship you have in life will mean something at some point. I've had to learn (mostly the hard way) that not all of these relationships will last. The people that come into your life and aren't there very long can teach you valuable lessons not only about life but about yourself too. I will admit to crying and feeling absolutely helpless at losing certain people, but in the long term losing them has made me a better person. Another cliché incoming, but the people that are meant to be in your life will be, especially if its what you both want-- don't mourn the loss of a person (for too long) if they weren't the right fit for you. Better people will come along.
2021 was another year of learning and becoming the person I want to be. I'm happy to say that I'm ending the year on a positive note, even if there have been some rough points throughout. I cannot stress enough how much I've appreciated the support on this blog, from friends and strangers alike (a special shoutout to my friends this year, from the ones that have dealt with me crying to the ones that have helped me become who I am now). If the only way is up, then 2022 should be a fantastic year personally. Happy New Years Eve (and Happy New Year) to all! I should be back to regular posting in the next month or so <3